CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
