So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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