just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
