She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
