I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
