how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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