I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
