I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
