apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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