I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
