If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am mentally ready for anal.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
