Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
