Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
