You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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