there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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