She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
