Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
