I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize