I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
