New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
