Dual....:-)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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