FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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