Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
