She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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