I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
