You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
