I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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