We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
