i permit you to call me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
