I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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