I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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