we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I currently don't understand fingers.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize