brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
