STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
