went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The uberlube is also flammable
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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