She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
