im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
