She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
