He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
