Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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