how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
