The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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