Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
