How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
