I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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