You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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