Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
