What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
