so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
