he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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