Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
