i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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