so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
